I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
