No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
