I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I need to calm my uterus...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
