moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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