I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
This girl is more easily done than said...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
