U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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