I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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