It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
