im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
