She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I still have a little drunk in my system
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
