I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
