Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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