He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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