somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
