dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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