so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
