But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
