they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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