when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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