You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My breasts were aching with rage.
be right there i have to get my cape
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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