How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Randomize
