I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
