Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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