I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
