C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
