areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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