Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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