Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
