ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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