I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
