I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
