All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
