She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
