it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
