okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
