Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
