I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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