tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
