Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
