Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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