How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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