got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Randomize
