make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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