so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
