His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
