we have pet lesbian snakes
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
