she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
