I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
