Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
