well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
