You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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